AMPed Life Women: Michelle Harris Jefferson. A Teacher Turned Author. Finding Purpose In Her Pain

Michelle Harris Jefferson
Photo courtesy of Michelle Harris Jefferson

Michelle, tell us about yourself.
I am Michelle Harris Jefferson. I am a 30 year old mother, wife and educator. I graduated Suma Cum Laude and #1 in my department from NC State University in 2010. I wake up everyday of my life hoping to inspire someone to be a better them than they were the day before by living my own journey of self-improvement. I love to read, travel and experience new things. I love meeting new people and intellectually stimulating conversation. I'm a giver and a nurturer, but I'm also obsessed with organization and a stickler for discipline and respect.

What is your book about and why did you decided to write your book?

What Doesn't Kill You is the raw, transparent, unapologetic story of my life's struggles. From my parents' divorce, to years of mental abuse and neglect, I lay it all out in the open. In writing this book, I believe that I am giving women and girls all over the world permission to say, yes I am flawed and yes I have made mistakes, but these mistakes are the reason that I can say with authority my greatness was bought with a price! I no longer have to hide behind our shame and the taboos of our community. We can feel free to bear our battles scars as badges of honor on the road to our success!

What was the hardest thing about the process to create this book?

The toughest part about the creation of this book was the inward battle between my past demons and the future I have always dreamed of for myself: me as a successful author, motivational speaker and business woman. It can be difficult to stand on a platform, before the business world "naked," all your past wounds and scars exposed! When you write a book that places the spotlight on your past, it forces you to relive the pain and misery these memories evoke. 

What Doesn't Kill You: A Memoir. 

Photo courtesy of Michelle Harris Jefferson

Was it difficult revisiting your past? Why or why not?

Very. Writing this book was a bit of an emotional roller coaster to say the least. I tussled with the possibility of publishing this memoir for years. I knew deep down on the inside of me that this book and my experiences were not intended for me. They were designed to free millions of others who believe that our past struggles are strategically designed to imprison or limit us, a line of reasoning that also subscribed to once. I found in writing this that in fact the opposite is true. Our experiences are not boundaries, they are fuel!

What did you get out of writing this book?

This book freed me! A reader asked me a questions a short time ago. She asked me what it feels like to be free? Freedom is overwhelmingly beautiful and heavy. It's overwhelming in the sense that for the first time in my 30 years of life, my past struggles don't control me entirely. I don't consult my past before venturing out into the world and deciding to live, love and laugh. I do these things on purpose now. On the other hand, it's heavy in the sense that I now have a responsibility to help others find their freedom. 

What elements do you believe are important for someone who needs to heal?

Honesty and transparency. If you can not look in the mirror and own, acknowledge and accept what you experienced, healing is impossible. When you own your experiences, you stop taking a backseat to them. They are no longer the driving force. When the past is in control, it dictates what you do, what you say, who you love and how you live ,but when YOU accept all of what makes you who you are, you take the control back. Your past still informs your future, but you determine the when and where, not the other way around.

How has your life experience impacted you as a teacher, mother, and a wife?

Jefferson with her husband Gary and daughter Danai

Photo courtesy of Michelle Harris Jefferson

Despite what people think, as an educator, your teaching extends far beyond the classroom. Everyday I encounter people who have had troubling pasts. Often times I can "see it" on them. Damaged people carry themselves differently. When you haven't healed properly, your wounds are sometimes visible to those who have shared your condition. As the healed, we have a responsibility to share our healing journey with others, to help them heal. Weather its a kind word, a listening ear, a hug or a whispered prayer we have a responsibility to help those in need of what we have. Now, I must say that my experiences do cause me to be cautious with my own daughter and I am very intentional in the selection of people I allow to influence her world. This lends to my previous statement concerning a shift in seating. Before my healing, I was determined not to have children for fear of what someone may do to them because of my own experiences. As a mother to an amazing two-year-old, that fear no longer drives me, it simple informs my decision concerning who I allow in her world. As a wife, I believe the damage done to my femininity, the very essences of my womanhood, was my biggest challenge in this healing process. Being vulnerable with my husband concerning past molestation and sexual encounters was not easy but it was necessary. Having someone love you when you are damaged, even when you don't love yourself is a tough spot to be in, but it is also motivating. Pushing yourself to see the person others see even after they know the truth is powerful. This goes back to surrounding yourself with the right people.

What advice do you have for someone who maybe going through dark times and feel like giving up?

Take a step back, analyze and put things in perspective. Ask yourself, "What do you want?" "What is hindering you?" and "What you can do to change it?" Set goals for yourself and a plan to accomplish your dream. Give yourself deadlines. Write down your vision. Get an accountability partner to keep you motivated and accountable. Most importantly, make yourself a priority. We tend to get loss in all our roles as wives, mothers and career women, and we forget to make time for us. Allow yourself time to love you enough to give your dreams the time they deserve. Go out in this big world and be great!

What words of encouragement do you have for women who maybe second guessing going after their dreams?

Photo courtesy of Michelle Harris Jefferson

My company, LEAP has a mission statement:

Through truth and transparency, we learn to overcome our struggles, persevering to seek out greatness, in spite of adversity, inspiring other to strive for greatness, while building their own legacy!

Love yourself enough to see that you deserve the best! If you don't love and respect you enough to invest in your greatness, you can't expect anyone else to either. Use your struggles as fuel for your greatness.

How can people reach you for speaking engagements? 

I welcome the opportunity to speak and encourage people from all walks of life. You can reach us via email at whyweLEAP@gmail.com, by phone at 336-907-2430, or on our business page: LEAP 

Where can we purchase your book?

You may purchase my memoir What Doesn't Kill You: A Memoir at the links below:

Amazon Kindle 

Paperback Copy 

What upcoming events do you have planned?

Our company, LEAP, is excited to announce the official launch of What Doesn't Kill You: A Memoir, Sunday, August 20th, 2017 from 2-4pm at 1220-E Battleground Ave Greensboro, NC. Click the following link to RSVP link: Event RSVP

Follow our page to get motivation and inspiration as well as information on upcoming events and engagements.