Keep the Love Fire Burning Bright in Your Relationship

I was speaking with my mom about relationships the other day and she told me that she and my dad have been together for almost 50 years (dating and married). One thing I can truly say is I have seen them love on each other and I think it's beautiful. I have my view on how to keep things going over time, but I did ask her to see if my views aligned with hers and I am happy to say they do.  I have been using these skills and learning as I go because my relationship changes daily.

Communicate with your partner. I think a lot of times we tend to stop talking and listening to our spouse after so many years of dating and marriage because we are used to them.  The communication should not stop. You're always learning about each other. You change constantly. Likes can become dislikes and vice versa. Check in with each other regularly to stay connected.  It does not mean anything is wrong, but it can save you and prevent situations from bubbling over.  This is also a time to connect with your spouse on a level other than the physical.

Do things you've never done before.  

Try a new activity. For example, my husband took me on a photography date. He took into account that I love the outdoors and I love pictures. We took a train and took pictures of anything from flowers to graffiti throughout the city. This gave us an opportunity to explore the city in which we are new residents.  It was an inexpensive date but it gave quality time to talk and enjoy each other.  Next time it's my turn to plan something different for us to experience.

• Try a different restaurant.
• Book a hotel room for the night.
• Go on a hike.
• Go on a picnic.
• Cook a meal at home together.
• Take a dance class.
• Give you're spouse a massage.

Connecting sexually with your spouse.
You can talk with your spouse about what they would like to try with you. It can be anything from different positions, role-playing, or lingerie. Sex is something that is intimate and another way to connect with your spouse.  If you're lacking in other areas of intimacy, it can impact your connection in the bedroom. Explore each other mind, body, and soul. Just touch each other, caress every curve, but do not go to the next level to increase the anticipation.  Flirt with each other and show your interest and attraction. The right foreplay can make all the difference in increasing your pleasure.

Your relationship is about your mindset and perspective. 

Do you still find your spouse attractive?  Attraction isn't just about the physical, because looks fade over time. You have to make a conscious choice to love the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with.  Keep doing what you were doing when you first started dating and build on that foundation over time. We get so caught up in the day to day grind, we forget about talking care of ourselves and each other.  Your spouse should be your peace.  If they are not your peace, you should take a step back and make a game plan to reconnect.